There are some great things about social media, and of course, that includes Facebook. Let’s face it, we no longer get those annoying forwarded emails full of jokes—and carats, which make those emails unreadable and insufferable. Plus, it’s great to be in touch with those friends from long ago who live a few time zones away, or overseas.

Then there are the friends who really do not have much in common, but they have found you, and now they annoy you with the worst postings and content. Yes, you can unfollow them, and in the worst case, block them.

The fact is, only 10 percent of your Facebook friends really care about you—it’s not that different from real life, in which you have friends, family and acquaintances. But acquaintance is a very long word to pronounce, so it’s been replaced in our lexicon by “Facebook Friend.” Unfortunately, some of these Facebook friends are about as pleasant to be around as the fingernails going down a chalkboard.

So if you are hung up on the number of likes you get per post, or wonder why few interact with you, it may be because you are one of these Facebook types:

The VagueBooker: These are my favorite—as in to mock. You know these types: they are the ones that post vague comments that fish for attention, and hoping that their peeps will respond with concern. Posts such as “I’m having a bad day,” “Mean people suck,” “People are so lame,” or “I’m stress eating because it’s been such a hellish week” are supposed to get you to reply, “OMG, what’s wrong?”

I’ll tell you what’s wrong: you’re making it all about you.

The FaceBooger: Speaking of being self-absorbed, FaceBoogers are the worst. These are the people who make other posts about them. You may be on vacation, post a pic of a sunset, and that FaceBooger responds, “Oh yeah, when I went there, we stayed at the 5-Star Grand Hotel.” Or you post a pic of your favorite food and that same FaceBooger responds, “Oh I can’t eat those cause I’m allergic.” Whether they are trying to upstage you or to show how fabulous they are—on your postings or those of others—these Facebook friends are begging to be unfollowed or unfriended. You can also refer to these people as a MeBooker.

The StalkBooker: There are two types here, neither of which I get.

First, there is the friend who texts you cause he or she is bored and they say hi to you and ask what you are up to. So you tell them, and then they respond, “Yeah I know. I saw it on Facebook.

So why the hell are you are you texting, then?

Then there are the weirdos who never interact with you, but clearly know what you are doing. Even worse, they may be imitating your posts cause they saw you scored, say, 50 likes. So for example, I have a friend back east. He lives, in say, Philadelphia, and he has a sister-in-law who is petty, hyper-competitive, etc. So he will post a pic of his kids at some famous cheesesteak joint in Philly with a caption such as “Cheesesteak time with the kids!” It all seems benign until three months later, that sister in law is at the same place with the caption . . . “Cheesesteak time with the kids!” Or, he will post his five-year-old’s completion of an adult coloring book project, and say, “Hey not bad.” Three months later, this psychotic sister-in-law will post a pic of an adult coloring book page with the caption “My kid’s a genius” (but the pic is blurry and the child clearly can’t color between the lines!). Yes, and that is just the start. It got to the point where my buddy won’t post where he and his family and friends hang out cause the bizarr-o relative will show up there, like clockwork, three months later.

The PageBooker: You know the type. You meet some dude or mamasita in your yoga class. They seem normal. They send a friend request. The next thing you know, a tidal wave of requests come in, cause Bertha or Herbert from yoga want you to join their page, or in reality, PAGES. It could be about mangosteen extract, Herbalife or “Bring Southwest Airlines to Fresno Airport with Direct Flights to Vegas Cause I love to Party” . . . and meanwhile you never hear from them. Unfortunately these types are like a bad rash that refuse to go away, cause like that rash, they spread, get under your skin and expand all over the place.

The NewsBooker: In this competitive world, someone always has to be the first to share information. You’ve seen the posts: “Nelson Mandela died.” . . . “Trump said something bad about John McCain.” . . . “Michelle Obama’s arms got bigger.” Yes, some people think they have to be the first to share that news. Unfortunately, Reuters or AP usually beat them to it. And sorry, honey, most of us follow news sites. But nice try.

The NostalgiaBooker: These are the people who knew you from high school or college, weren’t in touch for 20 years, find you on Facebook, then post the dumbest comments about you because they still think you are that 1980s kid who worshipped Reagan (or Trump), had big hair and wore those bright pink Reebok sneakers. Then they find old Kodak Disc photos and scan them, put them on Facebook and tag you . . . yeah, I do the same thing. I remove those damn tags.

The ConstipatedBooker: Okay, call them what you want. Closely related to the Vaguebooker, these are the ones who post updates that make you want to watch YouTube videos of dead kittens. “My dental implant fell out today.” . . . “I had the runs so I had to ‘run’ to Walgreens and get something to cure it.” . . . “Had to much to drink and vomited all over.” Yeah, fortunately there are fewer of those, but still!

The Passive-AggressiveBooker: I love these types. This can involve a lot of behaviors, but my favorite is when someone has to remind you what a great friend they are when you post a pic of yourself . . . with other friends they don't even know. Or, when you post something random, and they post "Oh we have to do brunch sometime," but you never hear from them otherwise. You know, there is such a thing as texting and calling. But hey, they can say technically they reached out, only their move was buried amongst heaps of other comments in some FB post from weeks ago.

The LOL-Booker: These are the people who never have anything intelligent or insightful to say, but they just respond to your post with the annoying “LOL.”  . . . Even worse, it could be about a post that wasn’t funny. In case you didn’t remember, LOL stands out for Laugh Out Loud.

It’s for these reasons why I often prefer Twitter . . . where posts are limited to 140 characters.

Image credit: Leon Kaye

About The Author

Leon Kaye

Leon Kaye is the founder and editor of GreenGoPost.com. Based in California, he specializes in social media consulting and strategic communications. A journalist and writer since 2009, his work has appeared on Triple Pundit , The Guardian's Sustainable Business site and has appeared on Inhabitat and Earth911. His focus is making the business case for sustainability and corporate social responsibility. Areas of interest include the <a Middle East, sustainable development in The Balkans, Brazil and Korea. He was a new media journalism fellow at the International Reporting Project, for which he covered child survival in India during February 2013. Contact him at leon@greengopost.com. You can also reach out via Twitter (Leon Kaye) and Instagram (GreenGoPost). Since 2013, he has spent much of his time in Abu Dhabi, UAE, working with Masdar, the emirate's renewable energy company. He lives in Fresno, California.